The Devil's Beatitudes- Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians—they are my best workers.
- Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked—I can use them.
- Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church—they are my missionaries.
- Blessed are the troublemakers —they shall be called my children.
- Blessed are the complainers— I’m all ears to them.
- Blessed are those who are bored with the minister’s mannerisms and mistakes—they get nothing out of his sermons.
- Blessed are the church members who expect to be invited to their own church—they are part of the problem instead of the solution.
- Blessed are those who gossip — they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.
- Blessed are the easily offended —they will soon get angry and quit.
- Blessed are those who do not give to carry on God’s work —they are my helpers.
- Blessed are they who profess to love God but hate their brother—they will be with me forever.
- Blessed are you who, when you read this, think it is about other people—I’ve got you too!
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